How to get rid of a constant sense of jealousy?
Funny: It is worth changing only 2 letters in places, and now "loyalty" turns into "jealousy". In 2-3 years after the wedding, the attitudes of any pair become stable and balanced. We can, of course, arrange romantic dinners, make surprises to each other, but still something is missing. Again I want passions, experiences, proofs of love - something that, alas, can not be in very good relations. And then we wait for the moment, notice some kind of a look and begin: "Why did you look at her like that?", "And how did your friend so amuse you?" Well, what good is that? Jealousy supports feelings, saving relationships from decay. Psychologists believe that jealousy from time to time is simply obliged to appear as proof that we are still loved. Both men and women subconsciously strive for her, to quarrel, expressing discontent, to hear in response: "I love only you." Experiencing jealousy, we begin to analyze what is happening, think more about relationships, as if we are scanning our everyday life. It always benefits the senses. Do you think the pattern is just this: we love and therefore we are jealous? Surprisingly, it happens the other way around. Often at first, one loves more, another allows himself to love and so gets used to love, which takes her for granted. And after 5 or 10 years, the first one, just getting tired of such "one-sided" relations, starts to look at it from time to time and finds an outlet. For a second partner, this is a shock. He at first does not believe, then gets angry, then experiences the strongest jealousy and finally falls in love with his partner.
■ Do not hide jealousy. This is a normal human feeling, besides, accumulating in small things, it becomes explosive.
■ Respond to his jealousy adequately. "Are you sick?", "I do not want to hear anything like that" - these phrases just cause a reaction that is persistent, painful, capable of spoiling the relationship. Therefore, as soon as possible, convince the partner of baselessness or exaggeration of his jealousy. Words, embraces, kisses, direct eye-to-eye contact come up. If you are surrounded by other people, then take your loved one by the hand or put your hand on his shoulder. Such gestures are subconsciously regarded as a desire to be there, to designate for everyone around: this is mine.
■ Of course, you hate the allegedRival and try, by all means open her eyes to the beloved. On the contrary, it should be praised. "She is so wonderful, what her hair is beautiful, natural, probably, and the dress sits so well." Strange, but true: after such praises, the competitor, most likely, will not worry your partner. Maybe because the feeling of mystery is lost?
■ Show all your appearance: "I know a lot about it, but it's a little fun for me." Partner such an inappropriate emotion will pose a dead-end: "What does she rejoice about?" It is necessary to check what is working without me. " Jealousy gives us the opportunity to become better. One of its components is a feeling of inferiority. If to us have preferred other person, it means he is more beautiful, clever, interesting. You can, of course, quarrel, you can blame the partner for betrayal, but nothing will change from this. And it's terrible. To tears, to despair, which lasts, as a rule, several months. Then (regardless of the situation) there is a desire to change: to become smarter, more pleasant in communication, more attractive and more beautiful. And even learn the language of Hindi, to be definitely better. And all because the feeling of inferiority is the main driving force of personal growth and development. How many women after the passage of time said thank you to their husbands for making them jealous. It was with this that they began their new life.
■ When jealousy is justified and justified, clearlyDesignate the boundaries of states. "Until October 1, I'll just be beside myself with anger, then I'll feel sorry for the November holidays, then wait a little, and right after the new year I'll start thinking about what to do next." So unbearable feeling will become simply unpleasant. It's always easier to survive the difficulties, when you know that they will end.