Women want to marry?
After asking my friends girls, I did not hearNot one categorical "yes", and not one definitive "no". Most of the answers were the following: "Looking for someone", "When I want to have a baby", "When they call, then I'll think whether I want to or not."
Marriage, as a rule, is not an end in itself. This is more a way of achieving different goals. Except, except that a couple of answers "I want a wedding, because it's beautiful" or "yes, it's time already." Although in these cases, it is arguable that this marriage is for the sake of marriage.
Why do women get married?
So what are the goals pursued by the girls when they marry?
First of all, no one wants to raise a child in solitude, and sooner or later a child wants almost everything. This is an elementary fear for the future and a desire to be confident in the future.
For some modern girls, a child isGenerally the only reason to get married, and without children they do not need a marriage. In the case of the continuation of the genus, there are two options. You can get married because you think that you are ready to have children and have a family, and you can marry because you became pregnant. Of course, not a single girl said that she would like to marry because she became pregnant, but do not forget such a reason.
The second reason - the view that marriage allows you to tie a man stronger. Of course, he does not keep chains, but to part with his wife is much more difficult than just having a girlfriend.
"Married? Looking for someone, if for A., Then so sure I can keep it, it will be problematic with me to divorce, since I will have to share very much. And I want to keep him, because I have a feeling of habit and love in some way, and since the marriage is completing the relationship and since, I'm Capricorn, I'm used to achieving all the goals, I will not rest until I get a stamp in my passport, "says One of my acquaintances.
Of course, not every man can keepTogether spent years together and acquired property (remember the sensational divorce of Abramovich), But this factor is very, very strong. It's not for nothing that there has been a proverb recently: "Nothing strengthens marriage as a joint mortgage."
"I want to have an official right to it!"- says Julia, 23 years old. "Tired of combining the duties of the wife and the rights of the mistress", - declares Olya, 25 years. Yes, the rights of his wife is really much more than a mistress. And in a civil marriage in response to claims about midnight strollers it is quite possible to hear: "And what are you controlling me, are you my wife or what?"
Quite often there is also a desire to claimOn the money of her husband. Whatever you say, and to marry a rich man is one of the goals of a large number of girls. Someone thus invests in his future, developing through his husband's money his career, and someone just wants to hang around his neck and live at someone else's expense.
Decide through marriage material and housingProblems - the practice is not new and common. Someone just wants a rich man, someone wants, for example, to emigrate to America. And it is peculiar not only to women, but also to men. However, it probably should not even talk about the desire to get married, but about other purposes.
But here's what really makes you think. No girl said that she was looking for love in marriage. I will not assess whether it's good or bad. The fact that marriage is not associated with love, on the one hand, is normal, because in order to love and be loved, it is not necessary to marry. On the other hand, something in our society is definitely changing. After all, if we ask our mothers and grandmothers why they married, many of them will say: "For love."
And yet, whatever goals you set yourselfA woman, public opinion always makes her hurry. Even twenty-year-old girls sometimes ask: "Well, do you marry when you're going to?" What can I say about thirty-year-olds!
Given that the right to conduct an active socialLife and earn money women have received relatively recently, it is not surprising that the habit of providing for their lives and social status at the expense of men has not yet completely vanished. After a woman for many years did not recognize the choice of her own will to remain unmarried, it is difficult to immediately change everything.
If young girls say that they are marriedThey do not want, they usually specify that "they do not want to" yet. "I, for example, do not want to get married at a given time, because: there is no one and if there was someone for whom, public opinion inclines the newlyweds to intensified production of children, and while I do not get up on my feet I do not want to have children .. .. and yet, it's awfully hard to cook someone and wash socks, "says Katya, 21.
Traditionally, the proposal to marry emanatesFrom a man. And in all the married couples I knew, the sentence was voiced by a man. A man, sort of like, should mature for this decision, while a woman is always ready to marry. And her goal is to push this man.
In addition to the pressure of public opinion, there are direct examples of others. When all the friends have already celebrated the wedding, the girl starts to think that maybe she is worse than others.
Lonely or free?
An unmarried woman is usually called lonely, while an unmarried man is free.
You can argue as much as you like about the fact that this is a common stereotype, like the mutual hatred of mother-in-law and son-in-law, but, as they say, every joke has a joke.
Many women are really afraid not to get married. They are afraid of loneliness, public censure, pity. This fear is one of the important factors that push a woman to marriage.
But marriage is not a guarantee that youYou will be happy. They say that when a woman feels lonely, she marries. And when a woman feels lonely in a marriage, she gets a lover. This suggests that you need to struggle with loneliness in other ways.
Why, then, do most modern women get married quite late?
Despite many reasons why women want to marry, modern girls all remain longer and longer unmarried.
The reasons that women point out areMostly material nature. The most common are job losses and housing problems. Buying your own apartment seems like something far away and unreal for a young girl. I want to settle first, earn money. "The problem is not only that I will not be able to earn money when I face. Almost no one now works more than a year and a half in one place, and I'm not sure that my husband and his work will be all right too. Moreover, modern men, in my opinion, remain children up to thirty. Beer with friends and computer toys is the main thing that most of my friends like, "says Olesya, 27 years old.
So do women want to get married? Of course, everyone is different and everyone wants to achieve different things in life. But my conclusion is still this: most women really want to get married. But they want not a stamp in the passport, but a family.