How to avoid conflicts in the family?
Causes of conflicts in the family
It may be worth beginning to think and evaluate for the beginning because ofWhat are the conflicts in the family? Scientists have found out that conflict situations between spouses can arise because of inconsistency with the "biological clock" of a person. There are people "larks", there are "owls", and maybe you and your spouse just belong to different categories, while one wakes up in the morning, cheerful and already analyzes, and plans the next day, the other way around, asleep and even Do not think about what will be done today. But this is just an assumption, which should not be reduced to all the problems arising in family life. Perhaps it's different - you just have incompatible life positions, for example, in the upbringing of children, disagreements in financial matters.
We would like to open our eyes to howConflicts in the family literally on "empty space" and, sadly enough, quite often. Imagine a completely standard situation. You come from work, the road home was not pleasant, someone pushed, cursed, and the day was hard. And then the husband who sat down on the sofa and watches television quietly, a child who asks for help in the lessons. And you seem to be torn to pieces from the anger that has accumulated in you. And when the family conflict reaches its climax, you realize that it makes no sense to continue the further conversation. In the end, go to the corners, doing each one's own business.
The day passes, the second, the evenings are held in silence, no one talks to anyone, and the phone as silently silent. You are already thinking:
- "Maybe you should come and talk?"
- "No, why, first, I'm right (a), and secondly, why should I (first) come first?"
Help of a psychologist in resolving family conflicts
The emergence of a new trend - consultationPsychologists who are very popular abroad, sometimes determine the fate of many people. Yes, probably, this is one of the most correct way to resolve the conflict situations that have arisen in the family.
What is so good about this method of solving complexSituation, you ask? The answer lies on the surface, in search of the best way out of the difficult situation that has arisen, you are turning to a completely independent person, you can even say to an expert, a specialist who is competent in the field of psychology and is not your closest relative or friend. A psychologist will certainly help you make the right decision. But at us while it is not so widespread, and costs or stands dorogovato, not everyone the simple person can afford to address to the expert. Sometimes they just do not want to do it - lose time, money, etc. But you can always remember about the advice of a free psychologist. For example, hotline phones, where you can always call and get the answer to the question you are interested in.
For many, it should be obvious that whenThe emergence of a conflict situation among family members, it would be better to talk with a literate person, rather than (as we do) to run to the closest friend in search of truth. Besides, did you ever think that when you ask your loved one for advice, you can sometimes stumble upon an unfair sentencing for those with whom you have a conflict. Perhaps, on your subconscious level, your girlfriend envies you, for example, who has a family life that does not go well, and she always tries to say once again, "What is your bad husband, Vasya, that does this."
From conflict in the family - to harmony in relationships
Let's think and deploy the situationdifferently. After all, conflict in the family and other aspects of life does not always carry a negative side, because it always brings about any changes. And even in some cases it can serve as a kind of antidisrupt in a bored monotonous life.
In a heated conflict, spouses often start,So to speak away from the topic that was the cause. In the course of the dispute, it is recalled that everything that they accumulated, what I wanted to say before, was somehow forgotten or postponed until later, in the hope that "maybe it will improve?". So do not in any case! Clarify in your head right away - what you find out and sort out one problem that has arisen in this situation at the moment. And it's not that you have accumulated for a long time and you decided to unload all this with dead weight on a poor husband (wife). Just do not enter threats, for example: "if you do not do cleaning today, then I'll leave for the whole day, leaving you with a small child and I will not answer calls" or "I'm tired of everything, I demand a divorce." Agree, no matter how many times you say this, first, it will cease to function in the future, and secondly, one day you will have to fulfill the promised one.
We propose to act somewhat differently. Predicting the next conflict in the family, think about what and how you will talk. Then the conversation will not introduce a negative connotation, but on the contrary, you will find out the relationship, quietly, in lowered tones. But is it possible to call it a conflict - of course, of course. This is just an explanation for your partner, what would he like to change in this situation, and what solutions can be found by joint efforts. Spend, so to speak, self-analysis within yourself. Yes it is difficult, you will say, especially when everything is boiling inside and just about to pour out. And who ever said that life is easy? What to think before you say - it's easy? Especially when it happens during a conflict situation: it requires effort, restraining emotions, but you will see - it will bear fruit. And in the future you will understand that avoiding conflict in the family is much easier in a calm environment, simply explaining your discontent and looking for ways to resolve them. Thus, you send each other "I - messages", hearing each other while understanding the discontent of each side.
So, taking advantage of all the rules,Given above, you no doubt can resolve conflicts in the family without resorting to humiliation and insults. What and what will allow you to further strengthen your relationship and quickly solve the accumulated problems, bypassing the "family battles."
Good luck and harmony in your family life !!!