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How to comfort your girlfriend

Because we are all social creatures, sensationThe fact that our grief is divided by someone, makes suffering a lot easier. After a while, the acuteness of her experiences will diminish and her capacity for elementary conclusions will be restored. It's time to move from whining to talking.
Even if you listen to her and remain silent,Counting, if you have enough money for a new handbag, you can bring some benefits to your girlfriend. Especially if you ever say the key word "ugu". Because when a person thinks out loud, he studies the problem better than picking up thoughts in his head. But you will bring much more profit if you listen to it correctly. That is, so that not only to comfort her but also help to structure the problem for herself, to understand where the causes, where the consequences, where the main thing, where the secondary. She herself can not do it, because none of the people can remain objective, figuring out from what it strongly tugs.
Besides, you should stop her from getting hung up. Because it will inevitably become obsessed with the most painful details.
Finally, you have to help her begin to argue,Draw conclusions and make plans. That is, as soon as she comes out to the second round of the presentation of her drama, you have to sit down on it with questions like: "And now what?" So you help her stop chewing the past and turning to the present and the future.


To the question: "What to do?"She must answer herself. How can you help her at this stage? Make sure that she makes a decision based on all the information available to her. The fact is that she can ignore some facts. Very often people simply do not pay attention to what they do not want to know. And your girlfriend may not take into account that her boyfriend is a rare womanizer, and start a campaign "Marry me." You will do her an invaluable service, if you help to realize what she hides from herself. It's clear, do not act on the forehead. She either does not believe, or will be offended. Bring her to the right thought with suggestive questions. As Socrates.
A life
Even if your heart is broken into small pieces andThe roof rests on one nail, life goes on. And in it there are many other things, except for the solution of the monstrously important problem of returning to their bed the prodigal cake (search for class work, enrollment in school models). You understand this very well, because this problem is not yours, but your friends. And for her in the center of the universe is now exactly this very problem, and she is ready to score on everything that has no relation to this sphere. As a real friend, you must protect her from this.
Sessions fall through not at all because in a state of unhappy love falls sharply IQ, But because the girls in love are simplySpit on the session, when in the shower and in all other places this is happening. Coping with the total distortion of the hierarchy of values ​​is not easy. So do not even try to read to her the notation that you do not have to forget about studying. Just take on the organization of its educational process.

What to do?

Do not Start

If she starts a regular in a public placeTalk about your troubles, misfortunes, wait for trouble. The words will be followed by tears, mascara, God forbid, will turn out to be not waterproof, the nose will swell ... In general, one affliction is for her and for you. So sometimes it makes sense to nip her attempts to start her sad song.

Say compliments

When a person sucks, he fixates on hisProblem and forgets everything else. Therefore, it is really very hard for him to find a reason to enjoy life. In this situation, a normal compliment has a very high value. Telling something good about her, you really tell her the news. Choosing a topic for a joyful message, turn to the area in which she has a problem. If, for example, she was thrown by a guy, a consolation like: "Yes, you passed the session on an" excellent "passed" - will not go. She wanted to spit for this session. The best consolation for a friend will be if you say that she is very much going to a new blouse.


Over any problem can be ironic. Tactfully. Try to joke. If you get ridiculous, in half a minute you'll laugh together. If you joke unsuccessfully, for the next twenty minutes you will become for her a source of aggressive emotions. Also a good result, because aggression is a healthier state than depression.

Be an optimist

Just convince her that "everything will be fine." Even if you doubt it, persuade. Sometimes you do not need to know the truth, but you just need to rest from despair.

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