Adoption decision on adoption
Therefore, before taking up for education, inThe family should all unanimously decide that they really want to accept the child. If there are disagreements in the foster family about this - the child will feel the tension in the sauce. Education in a foster family implies that parents should have special qualities, and, most importantly, a lot of patience, love and care. It should be remembered that children often come from boarding schools, so their upbringing is completely different from what is given in families. Parents should be prepared for the emotional difficulties that can be observed in the foster child. Before the appearance in the foster family, such children are seriously lacking attention. Worst of all, their fragile psyche is affected by the absence of the mother. It has long been proven that children who do not grow up in a family can lag behind in development. The fact is that the most developed, calm, emotionally balanced children are those who from childhood were surrounded by maternal warmth. But the inmates of the orphanage do not have all this. Therefore, in the foster family, first of all, it is constantly necessary to prove to the child that he can trust his parents, rely on them. Of course, this can not happen immediately. A child can get used to his new parents for a long time, avoid them, experience moral difficulties in approaching them.
Pedagogy for foster parents
Remember that the difficult nature of the childWas formed because of being in the orphanage. So do not be angry and offended. Remember that you are adults who have grown up in a totally different world. To bring up such a child, it is necessary not to condemn him, but to understand. And, of course, parents should be guided by the basic pedagogical laws, which we will talk about further.
For example, earlier it was believed that moralizingAre the basic pedagogical method. However, it has long been proven that few children, especially difficult ones, respond adequately to moralizing. Most often, they argue, contradict or simply ignore. And there are cases when, after moralizing conversations, children, on the contrary, begin to do spitefully to their parents and do the opposite of what they sounded in moralizing. Therefore now many teachers refuse this method. But this does not mean that you do not need to talk with the child and explain to him how to behave in certain situations. Simply you need to speak so that the child hears you. Therefore, first of all, be guided by his age. For example, if a young child of a school age, then a moralizing story, can be turned into an interesting tale that will carry a certain meaning and explain how to behave, and what not to do. If you need to talk to a teenager, then talk to him as an adult, equal to a person, in no case using an edifying tone. In this case, the child will not feel that he is small and unintentional for you, there will be more chances that the teenager will think, because he will feel himself an independent person.
And the last thing you should always remember isYour emotions. Children from orphanages are more difficult to endure screaming and rude words. Therefore, try to behave with restraint and never even hint that he is not your own. If the child is always sure that he is truly loved, trusted and considered to be a native, eventually he will learn to listen, understand and perceive all your decrees and advice.