How can a child survive a divorce?
When the kid does not understand what is going on around him, andAdults do not explain this to him, he will consider himself guilty of what is happening in the family. Apparently, he decides, I'm doing something wrong if the parents are always quarreling.
The consequences of such conclusions can be the mostDisappointing for the child - starting with the subsequent difficulties of divorce behavior and ending with the established family life. Therefore, it is very important that children, under the influence of this situation, do not make such conclusions.
It has long been known that expecting something badSometimes even worse than this bad. A child always feels what happens between parents. Therefore, you better do it than Aunt Masha's neighbor. The sooner you talk to him about what is happening in your family, the less he will be injured by this event. Tell him that you and Dad can no longer live together, and the pope will now live separately, but he will try to visit you. And your relationship with him will not affect the baby. And try, at least for your part, to fulfill this promise.
It is important not only what words you areYou will say. Much more important, with what feelings and intonations you will say it. Try to explain everything so that from this conversation the kid realized that whatever happened between his mom and dad, they will always remain for him loving parents who will always remember him, love and support him.
He will understand you
The child is important to know that he has a mom and dad- Adult and intelligent parents who can solve their problems themselves and will not force them to make difficult choices or stand on the side of someone of one of them, hang on him the responsibility for their actions. When the kid knows that the decision is made and it is correct, he ceases to worry and blame himself for what happens between the parents. So do not be afraid to hurt him with this news. Maybe not right away, but he'll understand you.
You are now very hurt, and although you know thatThe first time before and after the divorce - the most difficult, it does not help yet. You painfully remember the former husband, you accuse him of all mortal sins, and this is understandable. But the child perceives everything very literally, so it is important that the relationship that you have with your ex-husband, your kid did not take, taking it for his own attitude.
If for some reason this happened, andYour dislike for the former husband was transferred to her daughter, then when she grows up, she can transfer these negative feelings to all men, and then she may have problems in her own personal life. Remember that for a girl the father is the ideal of the future husband, and for the boy he is a role model.
Therefore, no matter how hard you were, you should notWhen a child responds badly about his father. In order for your kid to grow up to be a strong and harmonious person, he must feel how wonderful and good both his parents are, and not just one of them. He must "rely" on his father and mother, it is important for him to respect both parents.
It is very important to approach the divorce process correctly. Make every effort to ensure that everything related to divorce occurs as quickly as possible. This will reduce both your suffering and the suffering of your children. If in the process there are some difficulties, try not to make a fuss with the "former" in the child. If he sees that the house is quiet, it will give him confidence that everything is in order. And then it will be much easier for both of you to transfer all the difficulties of your new life.
But then, when the time comes, you will certainly talk with him about what awaits you next. For example, that some day someone else will live with you ...