How to punish children correctly
How harmful is it? If the kid has already turned 2.5 years old and if you do not abuse your power, do not spank him on every occasion and this punishment does not frighten him too much, then in some ways it may even prove useful. The fact is that at this age the child is already beginning to understand that doing something is not right, but it can not always stop on its own. Punishment can be useful in the event that the child decided to check the boundaries of what is permitted and to find out to what extent you allow him to go. Since the kid is still not very well oriented in the world, parents should show him a line that should not be crossed. But if adults do not dare to forbid something to the child or in some way restrict it, the kid will seek their reaction by any means, leading them out by their behavior.
Nevertheless, regardless of whether or not,If you are punishing a child or not, remember: if he grows up in a family where mutual agreements and interests are respected, but everyone feels free, the kid will necessarily try to maintain this style of relations by establishing links with other people.
How to influence the child?
Until the child is 2-2.5Year, to punish or scold him is almost meaningless, because the only lesson he can make of this is that he is bad and nobody likes him. At the same time, when the kid sees the result of his activity (for example, cut oilcloth), he does not fully realize how it happened: whether he did something with a knife, or a knife pounced on a tablecloth, or an oilcloth cut itself. At this age, you can teach a child to manage himself and others around him only through reasonable, clear prohibitions and restrictions.
A child of 2.5-4 years begins to realize hisApart from the world, and with it inevitably comes the realization of the authorship of their actions. At the same age, the kid understands that some events and deeds are pleasing to others and are considered good, and some are upset, annoyed and considered bad. However, despite the fact that understanding has already come, the ability to manage one's behavior has not yet been sufficiently formed. Usually at this stage of life, a certain "deputy" appears in children, who creates all the horrors that drive parents mad. This is what allows the child to get rid of the feeling of shame, because most of what is happening is committed by someone else.
Try to believe that the baby is notDeceives you, claiming that it is "nahuliganila squirrel from the forest." The fact is that he still easily confuses fantasy with reality. Your task is to understand why the kid did this. Ask him, argue with him, or help correct the situation. By the way, if the child is not afraid of your anger or condemnation, then, most likely, willingly chat with you ...
Also do not forget that at this ageChildren often act in defiance of their parents. And not because they do not consider you, they just need to feel their independence, their capabilities and their boundaries. If you start them for this "pursue", then start a war in which there will be no winners. Better try to turn it into a game or treat it as an annoying trouble that will eventually disappear.
A child of 4-6 years of age is still difficult to controlHis actions, although he almost always can already analyze them. But even if he understands that something should not be done, sometimes he does not have enough strength to restrain himself, and then, having acted incorrectly, he begins to suffer a sense of guilt. The situation is further complicated by the fact that at this age the child begins to discover the subtleties of human relationships and he discovers that there is no one-thing "good" or "bad" and very much depends on the situation. So, for example, he understands that it is not good to deceive. But at the same time he hears you assure grandmother that everything is in order, and just complained to a neighbor about troubles ... If you want to raise a normal child, help him to adapt in this world and try to explain what, where, why not be done and accordingly, That, where, with whom it is possible and necessary.
After six years, the child has the opportunityControl yourself and stop your "wrong" behavior. This skill should be encouraged and trained, gradually entrusting control over the actions that it does. To do this, negotiate with him, ask if he is ready to deal with everything himself, and do not rush to load him with too much responsibility. Remember that he will be able to fully answer for his actions only in 18-20 years, and now your job is to help him learn to do it, and not to demand that he behave like an adult.
To scold or not to scold?
When you see that the baby is worried aboutPerfect, it is not necessary to aggravate these feelings. Better try to support it. The main thing is for him to understand that the matter is more or less fixable, that he is a person who can make a mistake and how to try to do it next time differently. Realizing this, the kid will soon learn to treat himself and his behavior critically and adequately. If he does not understand that, for example, having selected or broken someone else's toy, he has committed something reprehensible, you should seriously think. Perhaps, raising a child, you were so afraid of upsetting him by telling him that he was not right about something, that now the kid is not at all ready to admit this by doing things.